The Eternal One-Liners/Punches/Gags from Bollywood

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Recent years in Bollywood have established female actors with Power-Packed roles in the industry. Kangana Ranaut commanded the Box-office in 2014-2015 & her few dialogues have become like those remarkable oneliners we have been reciting since aeons. “Adrak ho gaya hai yeh aadmi, kahin se bhi badhh raha hai..” [TWM 2] sounds befitting for a woman disgusted with her partner. She hopelessly declared her own plight in “Queen”- “Mera haal na Gupta uncle jaissa ho gaya hai. Gupta uncle ko na Cancer ho gaya hai. Unhonne kabhi sharaab nahi pee, cigarette nahin pee, phir bhi ho gaya. Is-sse achha toh pee hi lette..” . Previously we had [The “Cult” one-liner statement of Today] Sonakshi Sinha announcing “ Thhapadd se darr nahi laggta sahib, pyaar se laggta hai..” [DABANGG] after the Raunchy statement from Vidya Balan “ Filmein sirff 3 cheezon ki wajah se chalti hain, Entertainment, Entertainment, aur Entertainment..” [THE DIRTY PICTURE]. Priyanka Chopra delivered one as well; “Ittna bhi matt darao ki darr hi khatamm ho jae..”  [MARY KOM] while Amrita Singh taunted Arjun Kapoor with “Makhhan khaane ki cheez hai laggane ki nahi..” [2 STATES].

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Hindi Film Heroines have delivered some memorable Dialogues along with equally catchy statements which have been appropriately/in-appropriately used by many. Bollywood fans have a variety of cheesy gags in their kitty. From Hema Malini’s “Chall Dhanno aaj teri basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai…”[SHOLAY] & “Bhaagne ka naam jawaani aur thhamm gayi toh thhehra paani…” [DHARMATAMA] to Rakhi’s “Mere Karan Arjun aaenge…” [KARAN-ARJUN]; Sridevi’s “Mein madira nahin peeti g..” [CHAALBAAZ] to Madhuri Dixit’s “Kyon .. Hum aapke hain kaun” [HAHK]; Tabu’s “100 kutte bhi mill karr sher ka shikaar nahin karr sakkte…” [JEET]; Aishwarya Rai’s “Sameer… hawaa ka jhaunkka” [HDDCS] & Kajol’s “Ek daa wadda dil te dooje de wadde wadde bill…” [K3G]: these quotes have floated universally. Kajol’s “Kuchch Kuchch hota hai Rahul.. tum nahin samjhoge…” [KKHH] is an evergreen Quote. Deepika Padukone’s “Ek chuttki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jaano Ramesh baabu…” [OSO] & “Kahan se khareedi ittni Bokwaas dictionary….” [CHENNAI EXPRESS] are an integral part of Mimicry by children today. And once Kareena Kapoor said Mein apni khud ki favourite hoon…” [JAB WE MET].
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Our very own “Dabangg” Singhams [Heroes] have had their own share in launching “Bhaari-Bharkam” Fauladi punches on cinema-screens. Salman Khan threatened “Chhedi laal” with “Hum tum mein ittne chhed karenge ki confuse ho jaoge; ke saans kahan se lein aur $@@$ein kahan se..” ; claimed with Elan “Ek baar jo meinne commitment karr di, usske baad toh mein khud ki bhi nahi sunnta…” [WANTED] ; “kicked” his fans with “Mein dil mein aata hoon, samajh mein nahin” [KICK]. His maiden punch-line was “Dosti ka ek usool hai madam, no sorry no thank you..” [MAINE PYAR KIYA]. ShahRukh Khan is credited with giving the “mantra” to desperate lovers in “I Love you KKKkiran…”; “Palatt..”; “Rahul..naam toh sunna hoga…”; “Marr gaya Rahul…” ; “Aur pass…Aur pass..” ; “Badde Badde shehron mein aissi Chhoti Chhoti baatein hotti rehti hain, senorita…” and his “ 70 minute hain tumhare pass…” speech is a landmark in motivational “Dramatization”. “Don ko pakkadna mushkil hi nahi naamumkin hai…” [DON] was perfectly revised by him. Aamir Khan has a few unconventional lines credited to him ; “Aal izz well Aal izz well..” [3 IDIOTS]; “Bhabhi hogi teri, shaadi hogi meri..” [ANDAAZ APNA APNA]; “Aailla…”. He tried his hands at poetry for a change [Fanaa]; “Kehte hain pyaar mein neend udd jaati hai, koi humse bhi mohabbat karre.. kambakhhtt  neend bahut aati hai ..” became an all-time favourite of “Dil-phenkoos”in India. Sunny Deol has a long list attached with his name when it comes to the Most “Thunderous” of them all; “Ye Dhaaii killo ka haath jab paddta hai na, toh aadmi uthhta nahi…uthh jaata hai” , “Tareekh pe Tareekh, Tareekh pe Tareekh millti rahi judge sahib parr insaaf nahi milla…” [DAMINI] ; “Hindustan zindabaad thha, zindabaad hai aur zindabaad rahega..” [GADAR] ; “No iff, No butt, sirff Jutt…” [JO BOLE SO NIHAAL] ; “Uttar do yeh vardi aur pehen lo Balwant rai ka patta…” [GHAYAL]. Ajay Devgan came up with the silliest of the stock recently in [Bol Bachchan] ; “When elder get cosy, don’t put nosy..” ; “My chest has become blouse…” & “Jo sheeshe ke ghar mein rehte hain, woh basement mein kapdde badalte hain..” but he had already established “Aata Maazi sattakalli….” [SINGHAM] as the outcry of a man touched at wrong ends. Akshay Kumar has had a share of equally bizarre ones: “Bachhe ki jaan lega kya…” ; “Don’t Angry me..”.

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The most original punch came in [RANJHANNA] where Zeeshan Ayub said “Mohalle ke laundon ka pyaar aksar Doctor ya Engineer uthha ke le jaate hain…”. Bollywood’s cutest star Shahid Kapoor impressed us with his “Silent ho jaa warna main violent ho jaunga…” in RRajkumar.

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Apart from these, there are numerous dialogues which are embedded in our minds which don’t necessarily need a revision. They are like those nursery rhymes we recited in school; for-ever implanted in our memory. The Bollywood “Stalwarts” have various punch-lines associated with their phenomenal Personalities. AMITABH BACHCHAN is an Idol when it comes to dialogue delivery; be it comic, tragic or dramatic. Besides “Moochein hon toh naththulaal jaissi…”, “Mere pass Maa hai…”, “Aaj shaam maut ke saath apunn ka apinnment hai,apinnment…”, “Khush toh bahut hogge tum..” , “Tum hotti toh aissa hota, tum hotti toh waissa hotta..” my personal favourites are “Jabb takk baithhne ko naa kaha jae sharafat se khadde raho, yeh police station hai tumhare baap ka ghar nahi..” [ZANJEER]; “Rishtey mein toh hum tumhaare baap laggte hain, naam hai Shehenshah…”; “Mein aaj bhi phenkke hue paisse nahin uthhata davar seth…” [DEEWAR] ; “Hum jahan khade ho jaaen line wahin se shuru hotti hai..” [KAALIA& “Mard ko dard nahin hotta..”.

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Amjad Khan is next in line with his immortal “Gabbar Singh” caboodle. “Kittne aadmi thhe..” ; “Arre o sambha…” ; “tera kya hoga re kaalia..”; “ Bahut yaarana laggta hai…” ; “Soowar ke bachho…” ; “Ye haath mujhe dedde Thaakur…”; “Jabb takk tere paer challenge isski saans chalegi…”; “Abb goli khaa…” ; “Yeh raamgarh waale apni betiyon ko kaunsi chakki ka aata khilaate hain re…” : the list is endless from Sholay. Till date these are used as common slangs by all struck with Bollywood Masala Fever. We have the irreplaceable “Ajit” Dictionary handy, passed on from generations to its next. “Mona darling…” ; “Saara shehar mujhe loin ke naam se jaanta hai…” ; “Lilly don’t be silly…” & “Raabertt…”  have been translated into numerous jokes. Villains arrived with a variety of sense & non-sense in the middle of the story. Pran subtely narrated his plight in Upkar with “Ration parr bhashann bahut hai parr bhashann pe ration nahin..” . And who can forget “Prem naam hai mera…Prem Chopra” [BOBBY] & “Main woh balla hoon jo sheeshe se pathhar ko todtta hoon…” [SOUTEN] by the meanest of all Prem Chopra.

The most hilarious ones came from Kader Khan. “Makkari ki mitti se janam lenne waale gaddari ke paudhhe…” & “Hosh mein aa zaalim gareeb jaagne waala hai, taiyyar raho bhaiya abb yeh khujjane waala hai..” [HUM] ; “Tumhaari yeh baat sunnke dil Hyderabad ki tarah aabad ho gaya..” [HIMMATWAALA] ; “Yam hain hum, Hum hain Yam..” [TAQDEEWAALA]; his dialogues flowed with the perfect comic timing he possessed on camera. Shakti Kapoor was the notorious of them all with his “Aauu Lollitta..” sounding as the perfect tone causing repulsion. He came with good ones later; “Main hoon nandu sabbka bandhu..” ; “Main ikk nanha sa, pyaara sa, chhota sa bachcha hoon…” & “Crime master GoGo…Mogambo ka bhatija”. Gulshan Grover was re-named the “Bad Man..”  after RamLakhan. He was loathsome with lines like “Ganna choos ke..” & “By God, dil garden garden ho gaya..”.

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Amrish Puri was versatile as the country’s most dreaded Villain as well as the finest supporting actor.“Mogambo khush hua…”; “Aissi maut maroonga ki bhagwaan yeh punnar-jannam waala system hi khattam karr dega…”[KARAN ARJUN] were followed by “Jaa Simran Jaa…. Jee le apni zindagi”.[DDLJ]

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Some unforgettable ones are by Asrani [ “Hamari jail mein surangg…haha”; “Hum angrezon ke zamane ke jailor hain…” ; “Aadhe idhar jao, aadhe udhar jao.. baaki hamare saath aao”:] all from Sholay. Paresh Rawals “Ye baburao ka ishtyle hai..”  is another memorable slang and not to forget the legendary Utpall Datt who innocently roared “Tum uss laddke se shaadi nahin karogi jiss se tum pyar karrti ho, tum uss ladke se shaadi karogi jiss se Main pyar karrta hoon…” [GOLMAAL]. And last but not in the least “Ek machhar saala aadmi ko @$&@@ banna detta hai” by Nana Patekar [YESHWANT].  Did i forget to mention the only phrase that defines MR. SHATRUGHAN SINHA? “KHAAAMOSHH!!!”

Now to present the list of “GHISSE PITTE” immortal one liners which were Dramatically highlighted in movies one after the other.

  1. Main tumhaare bachche ki ma bann ne waali hoon.
  2. Rukk jao, yeh shaadi nahin ho sakkti.
  3. Aaj shukrwaar hai aur court do dinon ke liye bandd hai.
  4. Kutte Kamine mein tera khoon pee jaunga [DHARMENDRA’S SIGNATURE WORDS].
  5. Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chhod do.
  6. Boss maal pakkda gaya.
  7. Police ne tumhein chaaron taraf se gher liya hai. Apne aap ko police ke hawaale karr do.
  8. Log kya kahenge Beta.
  9. Ehsaan faramosh!
  10. Mein kahan hoon?
  11. Mujhe kuchh dikhayi nahin deta doctor!
  12. Door ho ja meri nazron se.
  13. Mein aapka ehsaan kabhi nahin bhoolongi.
  14. Pati parmeshwar hotta hai.
  15. Aaj karwa chauth hai.
  16. Bhabhi tumhare haath ka khaana….
  17. Mein kissi ko munh dikhaane layak nahin rahi.
  18. Ghar mein vidhwa maa kunwaari behnein.
  19. Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hotte hain.
  20. Kya issi din ke liye paal poss ke badda kiya thha?
  21. Mein tumhare binna jee nahin sakkti.
  22. Gandi naali ke keede!
  23. Tum mere liye marr chukke ho.
  24. Khabardaar mujhe haath lagaya toh.
  25. Tumhari maa hamare kabze mein hai.
  26. Beti paraya dhann hotti hai.
  27. Maaaa mein pass ho gaya.
  28. Kaan kholkar sunn lo.
  29. Aardder Aaarder!
  30. Judge saaheb….[Mee lardd].
  31. Heere kahan hain?
  32. Barsaat ki kaali raat.
  33. Duniya ki koi taaqat humein judda nahin karr sakkti.
  34. Kanoon jazbaat nahin saboot dekhta hai.
  35. Mujhe maaf karr de beta.
  36. Naajayaz…..[Baap, Beta, Aulad]
  37. Babuji nahin rahe.
  38. Gawahon ke bayaanat aur sabooton ko mad-de nazar rakhte hue mujrim ko ba-izzat barri kia jaata hai.
  39. Hamare purkhon ki jaydaad.
  40. Abb sabb oopar waale ke haath mein hai.
  41. Zamaane ki thhokaron ne mujhe aissa banna dia.
  42. Babuji hum college mein ek saath paddhte thhe.
  43. Mujhse burra koi na hoga!
  44. Mein apne bhai ke khoon ka badla lekar rahoonga.
  45. Meinne do din se kuchh nahin khaya.
  46. Arre isse toh tez bukhar hai.
  47. Kaash tumhaare baabuji zinda hotte.
  48. Isse dhakke maar karr ghar se bahar phenkk do.
  49. Ho sake toh mujhe maaf karr dena.
  50. Bachaooooooo…..

To end this journey behind memory lanes……………

HUMKO MITTA SAKKE WOH ZAMAANE MEIN DUMM NAHIN, ZAMAANA HUM SE HAI…. ZAMAANE SE HUM NAHIN”- “RAJ KUMAR”

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Katti Batti [2015]: A Fiasco

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Imran Khan [Maddy] gulps Phenyl accidentally as it was kept next to his beer bottle…. This is how the movie begins. 45 minutes later, the movie fails to convey the Story/Screenplay/Idea/ or the purpose of getting the country’s most sought-after star “Kangana Ranaut” paired up with the country’s most “Gauche”/wooden Actor “Imran Khan”. The actor is a failure on-screen and like most of the times we have witnessed off late, he is worse than having ‘Pinnochio’ portray the plight of a heart-broken lover.

Maddy meets Payal in college & they decide to live together. [but when? How? Why? We will never find out]. After 5 years Payal leaves him. Maddy is love-sick and misses Payal [but he is hamming most of the times]. He takes us to Payal in Flashbacks but it’s like watching a silent movie a la “Pushpak” in its most deteriorated form. We don’t see any bonding or intimate moments between the two; we are clueless about what exactly they share or shared. Why were they together? [5 years??] : You won’t fathom till the end credits roll in what led to Maddy falling hopelessly in Love with Payal. They don’t seem anywhere close to being emotionally/Romantically connected as they do not display any chemistry. He holds her as if his mother is stalking them with a hidden camera. She seduces him and he appears as if it’s the beginning of his “Juvenile years”. Where is love? What exactly is driving Maddy closer to self-destruction? As an Audience, till about the interval approaches, these are the questions pondering in our minds because we fail to receive a visual treat- love is an evergreen topic which drives us to the cinema-halls, am I right?

Kangana Ranaut is wasted in this movie. There is a “Devdas” scene where Maddy is Drunk and unconscious. His parents are about to reach the premises of his hostel room and his friends try to save him of the embarrassment. Payal pretends to be Paro and the sleepy Maddy is repaired to face the situation. Imran khan fails yet again and is hopeless as a ‘mannequin’- his friends carry him and he rises twice to speak a line & goes back to aberration. This horribly enacted scene is worse than a stage 2 kid-group theatre performance. And to make it even more miserable, the supporting cast [the Entire supporting cast in the movie] is below the “Nukkad” standards; there is no familiar face besides the lead pair and each one of them has nothing to do with acting. Imran does attempt to speak and act when he tries to retrieve Payals no. from her friend but her infant son performs better than him [he ends up smiling and crying convincingly]- Imran cannot even haphazardly appear panicky. We reach the interval and have no clue what the debate is about. We just know that everyone around Maddy hates Payal and are screaming and yelling at him for being her slave. His bond with his sister and friends appears equally artificial [He has a pet tortoise “Milkha” with whom he shares his tears].

And finally to our relief- the break up is revealed. He was watching a cricket match cheering for Tendulkar[?] to complete his century with his friends and Payal was pissed off. Then he happened to get angry with her [o god! He is trying to appear angry and his pout is repulsive coz he doesn’t look a bit different from his Devdas avatar] and they split. All this he is narrating to Foslas [a group of frustrated one-side lovers association – who sell tortoise food and sing Sufi songs and ride in trucks]. Payal is getting married to Ricky and they disrupt it in the most disgusting way. Payal slaps Maddy and…………….Payal has cancer. She is dying. All this drama was to make him learn to live without her. Bravo. What a brilliant script. [“Cancer” used to be the most widely adopted medium to kill the lead actor/actress in 1960s- please be innovative & progressive for once Mr Advani!]. Maddy decides to marry her and spend every moment together till the time she dies. And she does- [we don’t see any of her parents at all in the entire Drama] but I am still waiting for those 20 minutes where “Aamir Khan” supposedly cried the entire time and needed a towel to wipe his tears. This was the main reason [apart from “Kangana Ranaut”] which made me buy the first day first show tickets.

The movie has a bleak/shady story. Every character is sloppy & creates confusion besides delivering a coherent performance. It’s a dud by Nikhil Advani [who has failed to surprise us in the past] – his second in a row[in a single week]. A huge Disappointment as an ardent Kangana fan. Imran Khan badly needs his acting workshops rehearsals. Don’t waste your precious time & money over this “fiasco”.

My 15 Favorite English Movies on Home Video in High-school/College.

The VCR was the most precious commodity in the late 80s and early 90s. English movies were available as Home Videos for rent and so were the Video Cassette Players. I was deprived of the luxurious Cinema Halls that played latest/old releases and spending entire pocket-money on hiring the ones available was my favorite “weekend activity”. Here are 15 of the most cherished Movies during High school & College.

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1.TOP GUN: [1986]

With the opening scene, where Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell [Tom Cruise] flies his plane upside down and snaps a picture of the enemy pilot – Tom Cruise arrived as every girls “Dream Lover”. He played a young Navy aviator. Charlotte ‘Charlie’ Blackwood [Kelly McGillis] played the civilian Top Gun instructor. Its amazing Soundtrack [“You Take my Breath Away”; “Top Gun Anthem”] was a Gem for the walk-mans, car stereos and two-in-ones. There was hardly a teenager whose room didn’t show off the Top Gun Posters. After the release of this movie, the US Navy stated that no. of young men who joined the Navy[ wanting to be Aviators] increased by 500%.Boys flaunted the “I feel the need, the need for Speed” stickers on their bikes attempting to recreate the mania off-screen. This movie remains the all-time favorite for my friends; allegiance to Tom Cruise is hard as nails even today.

Famous quote:

Maverick: “I feel the need…the need for Speed.”             

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2. PRETTY WOMAN: [1990]

The sweetest “most” innocent Love Fable of our times. The Suave/Handsome millionaire Edward [Richard Gere] meets the Attractive/Smart Vivian [Julia Roberts] and both decide to spend some “paid” time together. Richard Gere [with his “salt n pepper” look] was charmingly Shy; Julia [with a natural-born talent to draw audience] was humorously Confident and they both swept us away to the Boulevards of Hollywood. “Oh Pretty Woman” [Roy Orbison] song is hummable decades later. We learnt the values of true love & dignity over money, subtly, while dreaming of our own “Price Charming” pampering us with Dresses, Strawberries and Jewelry before he chased his new-found love in a “convertible” loaded with Flowers. Pretty Woman is my All Time Favorite “Love Story”.

Famous quote:

Vivian: “I want the Fairy Tale.”

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3. DIRTY DANCING: [1987]

Baby [Jennifer Grey] is spending the summer in a holiday camp with her family and she falls in love with the camp’s Dance instructor Johnny [Patrick Swayze]. This movie changed the way we looked at dance and introduced the Dirty “Boogie” dancing which left us spellbound. Swayze’s pretty boyish charms [and the way he moved] were “hot”. Every girl/woman desired the re-enactment of the final scene every damn day in her life. It is till date the largest selling movie on DVD. Watching it was taboo in those days, yet “Dirty Dancing” became a true Fantasy.

Famous quote:

Johnny: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner…”

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4.  EDWARD SCISSORHANDS: [1990]

Starring Johnny Depp & Winona Ryder, the film is the story of an artificial Man “Edward”- an unfinished creation, who has scissors for hands. He is taken in by a suburban family & falls in love with their daughter Kim. It was a modern-day Fairy tale which depicted the story of an uncommonly Gentleman. Edward learns to use his scissor-hands to create & is forever in pain with the fear of hurting his beloved. The chemistry between the two was fiery enough for many to “whimsically” Fantasize for Edward. Depp fell in love with Ryder crazily enough to declare “Winona is my everything; my soul; my love; my girl; my wife to be; my baby’s mom; my leading lady.” This movie became the pet “new-fangled” saga for teenagers.

Famous quote:

Kim: “Hold me.”

Edward: “I can’t.”

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5. GHOST: [1990]

The potter-wheel scene where Patrick Swayze romances Demi Moore became a “cult” moment. The movie is the story of a man who is murdered and has to come to terms with being a Ghost along with saving his lover from the villain. Whoopi Goldberg played the medium who communicates with him through her psychic powers [An Oscar-winning performance]. The love theme “unchained melody” by Righteous brothers gave us goose-bumps and Swayze became the most “adorable” Ghost all over the world.

Famous quote:

“Ditto”

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6.TERMINATOR 2 : THE JUDGEMENT DAY [1991]

The future comes hunting for John Connor [Arnold Schwarzenegger played the good “Terminator” this time]. Robert Patrick [the Mercury man T1000] is on a mission to kill Connor and no matter what action is undertaken to stop him- he doesn’t get disturbed and pulls himself together to be on the move. The exemplary special effects were loved by all and sundry; it seemed like fun for a kid to have his own pet “Terminator” who becomes like a Father figure. 25 years later this movie can be watched with equal zest.

Famous quote:

“Hasta la Vista Baby!”

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7.HOME ALONE: [1990]

A bratty 8-year-old Kevin McCallister [Macaulay Culkin]is left home alone after his Mother mistakenly leaves him locked in the Attic. This movie evoked all sort of scary Nostalgia we all go through at-least once in our lifetime- the fear of being left alone. Kevin became a household name globally; we adored this naughty kid when he did all that his parents stopped him from doing. We cheered for him when he booby-trapped the house to fight the goony Thugs. It definitely tickled our hearts when he outwitted them. Culkin’s mischievous Smile is embedded in our hearts forever.

Famous quote:

Kevin: “I don’t want a new family. I don’t want any family. Families suck!”

Temple1 dvd_jones still-of-nizwar-karanj-and-amrish-puri-in-indiana-jones-and-the-temple-of-doom-(1984)-large-picture8.INDIANA JONES & THE TEMPLE OF DOOM: [1984]

Professor Indy [Harrison Ford] came to India [though the shooting was held in Sri-Lanka] this time to retrieve precious Gems. Every scene in this movie was like a roller-coaster ride with its extravagant Visual effects. Amrish Puri was able to re-create the terror he evoked on Indian screens in the role of Mola Ram [the blood thirsty priest]. The elegant dinner laid at the palace of a local sinister “Raja” where it was obligatory for all to eat what was served [The chilled “monkey brains” for dessert] and the enthralling Climax were the Highlights of this Adventure Flick.

Famous quote:

Mola Ram: “ Maaro Kaato Peelo Khoon..”

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9.THE EVIL DEAD: [1981]

5 pals hike into the woods to a cabin & find an audiotape that releases demons & spirits. This movie was notorious for its outrageously “gory” effects and was banned initially. But it was widely watched and genuinely loved by all viewers. It was the first of its kind with its scary & spine-chilling special effects. Many sequels followed along with movies on duplicate theme but “The Evil Dead” became synonymous with horrifying “Madness” in the name of Entertainment.

Famous quote:

Voice of Evil Force “Join Us….”

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10.E.T :The Extra-Terrestrial [1982]

A gentle Alien is stranded on earth & befriended by a boy Elliott [Henry Thomas]. The alien is named E.T by him and his friends. This was an exciting sci-fi Adventure Movie with a remarkable portrayal of childhood by Steven Spielberg [director]. In an age when the whole World seems like a big mystery, this homesick Alien connected magically with all of us.

Famous quote:

“E.T go home..”

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11.BACK TO THE FUTURE: [1985]

Story of a high-school teen Marty [Michael J Fox] who endures the acrimonious relationship between his Parents. His eccentric Scientist friend Doc [Christopher Llyod] builds a time-machine and accidentally sends him back to be with them in their Teens. This movie seemed familiar to all of us going through the same tussle at home. The concept of sharing school/college with your own folks seemed exciting & this movie became an all-time favourite to watch sitting at our dining tables.

Famous quote:

“Where we’re going we don’t need roads.”

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12.RAIN MAN: [1988]

Charlie [Tom Cruise] learns that his estranged father is dead and he returns home to his autistic elder Brother Raymond [Dustin Hoffman]. Motivated to get his father’s money, he sets on a road trip with him. We saw a mean/selfish/self-centred version of the global “heartthrob” [Cruise] on-screen along with a brilliant piece of acting by Hoffman. Raymond’s innocence & honesty evoked multiple emotions & this funny yet memorable journey of two brothers was touching.

Famous quote:

Raymond: “Of-course you can’t have pancakes without maple syrup.”

Charlie: “Bet your butt?”

Raymond: “Bet your butt.”

when-harry-met-sally-movie-poster-1989-1020470291  When Harry Met Sally

13.WHEN HARRY MET SALLY: [1989]

A journey of college graduates Harry [Billy Crystal] & Sally [Meg Ryan] where they argue whether a man & a woman can ever be truly/strictly platonic Friends or not. It was a funny Love story with a flawless blend of love & laughter. The dilemma carried for 11 years and we happened to see them together, finally. Many were infatuated by the “Dreamy Eyed” Ryan & Crystal struck a chord with all, thanks to his perfect Comic timing.

Famous quote:

Sally: “Women are very practical. Even Ingrid Bergman, which is why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie.”

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14.DIE HARD: [1988]

It’s Christmas in L.A when Policeman John McLane visits his estranged wife. He joins her at a party in a high-rise building Office which is taken over by Terrorists. A true 100% “Action” bonanza, where McLane wins the battle single-handedly, bare-feet, & without his shirt. A typical “Good cop shoots all the bad guys” movie. Its sequels enthralled us equally.

Famous quote:

John McLane: {McLane watches fire trucks approach the building} “C’mon baby, come ta’ papa, I’ll kiss ya’ fuckin’ Dalmatian a&$@.”

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15.BATMAN: [1989]

Gotham city’s saviour Batman/Bruce Wayne [Michael Keaton] must protect the dark city, his Identity & his love Vicki [Kim Basinger] from Joker [Jack Nicholsan]. We all grew up reading Batman comics and to see it come alive visually on-screen was a unique Experience.

Famous quote:

Joker: “I’ve been dead once already. It’s very liberating. You should think of it as, uh…therapy.”

 

“Shaandaar” 2015 – The most awaited Wedding Extravaganza.

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“Shaandaar” starring Alia Bhatt & Shahid Kapoor is slated for a Dusshera release this October. It is supposedly Bollywood’s maiden “Destination Wedding” Film. Shahid & Alia are the Crowning “TEEN” icons today who represent the modern contemporary youth of India. Both have tasted critical as well as popular success last year in the form of “Highway” & “Haider” respectively. They bagged the prestigious Filmfare award in the leading category and seem geared up for this “full on” entertainment Baggage; a slight deviation from the Intensity they presented us with last year. Alia pairs with her childhood crush Shahid for the first time and the Posters released so far present an electrified Chemistry between the Two. This “Hot off the press” pair has elevated the expectations of Bollywood aficionados. They have built the rapport with the future audience already [with their regular “insomniac” tweets] and are active in the promotion of this fanciful Bonanza based on the all-time favorite “sweltering” theme – “Shaandar Shaadi”. [They interestingly play Insomniacs in the movie.]

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Alia Bhatt is a Sweetheart. Her chirpy, jaunty, adorable, slightly “legally blondish” personality [on screen of-course] has won the hearts of movie lovers with a mere offering of 4 releases. In “Student of The Year” [2012], she arrived as the replica of Kareena Kapoor’s Avatar in K3G. She amazed & stunned the critics/movie moguls with her astonishing performance in “Highway” & gathered acclaim for her portrayal of a girl who develops a Stockholm syndrome. Bagging the Filmfare award in the prestigious “Critics” category as “The best actor [female] in a leading role”- so early, is a rare achievement. One can say that she effortlessly immersed herself in the character of “Veera”. Her extremely “Raw” performance left every member of the audience emotionally invested in the role she played. “2 States” presented a complete transformation of Alia where she acted with finesse & it became easy to accept her as “Ananya”. Her transformation from a high school/college teenybopper to a mature IIM graduate was smooth & praiseworthy. She appeared convincingly “Headstrong” in the movie and contributed majorly in its success. Right from the beginning of her career she has been synonymous with the word “Dumb” with numerous jokes floating on social media affixed with her name. She has taken them in her stride and has never once retaliated. This young actress has the mettle of being a powerful Actor and I can easily put my money on her calibre. She is extremely photogenic and strikes a chord with young girls, thanks to her babyish/innocent charms. It helped her re-incarnate “Simran” of DDLJ in “Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya” where she surprised us with her Romantic “Carol” as a bonus. She has acting in her genes and has a bright career in the offing. Alia Bhatt is the main reason behind my excitement while awaiting the release of Shaandaar.

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Shahid broke the tab of being the “Most desirable bachelor” by finally getting “Hitched” this July; but his cuteness Quotient is consistent. It doesn’t prevent young girls from going bonkers over his charisma even today. He made his debut in 2003 with “Ishq Vishq” and after a series of unsuccessful/mediocre films; a jackpot named “Haider” and 12 years of a prosperous Journey in Bollywood- Shahid Kapoor is constantly ranked amongst the “50 Sexiest Asian Men” in the world since 2012. His mass appeal lies in his enamoring personality & his million dollar Smile. He is extremely popular amongst the children & is an idol figure for all those kids who want to pursue dancing- thanks to his seasoned expertise in the field of dance. He has delivered his own best in “Jab We Met” where he didn’t let Kareena’s boisterous Role overshadow him while he portrayed a young, troubled business-man with accuracy. He was outstanding in “Kaminey” in his double role [one with a lisp- the other with a stutter] before he shunned the critics & swept the audience with “Haider”. It was one of the finest performances delivered on screen in recent times and it would be unfair to deprive him of the appraisal. “Hamlet” happens to be Shakespeare’s Most “Complexed” character and Shahid Kapoor displayed the madness/intensity with perfection. He is labelled as “friendly, chirpy, affable, frat-boy type” whose boy next door persona is his own trademark & has kept him in this list forever now. After a regular appearance in “Jhalak Dikhlaja Re-loaded” this season, his prolonged “Bearded” look & “Gleaming with Happiness” face has won my heart once again.

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Alia Bhatt & Shahid Kapoor………… can it get any better than this? They are Young, They are Mad, They are INSOMNIACS & They are ready to fall in Love.

We have seen and immortalized the “Barjatya” style “Wedding Extravaganza” with our repeated viewership; it’s time to re-visit the madness called “A Big fat Punjabi Wedding” in the name of “Shaandar”. Kudos to the most “Priced” theme of Bollywood. Hoping that the Father-Son duo [Pankaj & Shahid] are able to engage us in this promising Forthcoming offering by none other than “The Master of Showbiz” – “Karan Johar”.

Phantom [2015]: Positive & Negative Review.

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1.Emotional Barometer is high :

The movie is like a mission, minus the glamour & glitter of a typical Hindi Film. Daniyal Khan [Saif Ali Khan] is an Army officer who has lost his honor due to a mishap at the borders & is living in anonymity. A Youngster [Zeeshan Ayub], along with his 2 colleagues at The Indian Intelligence Agency [RAW], sketches a plan of revenge against the perpetrators of The Terrorist Attacks [26/11] on Mumbai. Daniyal is recruited by the Director of RAW and is sent on a secret mission [known only to the 4] to kill the masterminds of the terror attack. Nawaz Mistry [Katrina Kaif] assists him in the execution of this rancorous operation.

The audiences tend to deviate from their own intelligence while Phantom assassinates our biggest enemies today.It’s the “chutzpah” of a true Indian which takes over as we ignore the technicalities and are rejoiced after witnessing Richard Hadlee, Sajid Mir & Haris Saeed [no need to guess the original counterpart] being eliminated.

It’s like watching every Indian’s biggest dream come alive on screen after the nation was shaken up in 2008. We get to see what we wish should have happened after that horrible day. Though this movie doesn’t satisfy the need to avenge the death of 166 Indians & reminds us how helpless the nation felt that day- yet it brings all sections of audience to one common point – to rise and clap when the mission is accomplished. In-spite of a sleazy screenplay, the movie has a balanced flow of storytelling where no scene seems out of continuity. There is no politics involved in the plot; there are no exaggerated jingles on nationality either. This movie merely depicts the plight of each and every soldier & citizen of India who wishes to be “The Phantom” for our mother land.

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2.Realistic Accomplishment is Nill:

The movie is like salt on an old wound. It constantly reminds us of our helplessness & how we were mocked by our biggest enemy on/after 26/11. It disappoints us even further when Daniyal sinks in the depth of the ocean rather than returning back to his motherland Victorious and with Honor. It seems as if we are revisiting the day and shedding extra tears 7 years later. It doesn’t console and re-opens our wounds. The book by Hussain ZaidiMumbai Avengers” is perhaps a good piece to read but as a visual representation, Phantom has failed to match up with the Spirit of “Baby” or even “Agent Vinod”. Katrina & Saif’s characters are questionable as well. It seems easy for them to be on a killing spree, battling spray of bullets in Syria & Pakistan as if they were trained by none other than the MI6. Zeeshan’s “Jingoism” in the end on failed heroism seems useless.

By the end of the movie, we are left with a clutter of emotions within. Phantom or Bajrangi?

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